A welcome and a farewell

Emmeline arrived on 5/21 at 10:53 AM. She was healthy, with Apgar scores of 9 and 9. We went home 24 hours later to begin our life with the Kraken as a four person family. After several years of heartache so deep I was afraid it would break something in me permanently, I think I can finally start to take full breaths again.

As I help my daughter learn to say hello to the world, I think it's also time to say goodbye, finally, to this blog. It has been floundering for several years now as I struggled to find things to talk about that didn't threaten to crack me wide open, so hopefully it will be a relatively painless demise. If there is anyone out there still reading, I wish you all well.

The good just keeps coming

Measuring 17 weeks yesterday when they did another ultrasound. Amnio went off without a hitch (gotta love being of "advanced maternal age"), and got the preliminary results today. Results for Trisomy 18 and 21 are normal - no extra chromosomes, none missing. And it's a GIRL! We're naming her Emmeline, and her older sister is beside herself with happiness.

Let's see if she still is when she has to share her barbies.

Moving right along

Almost 14 weeks by LMP, over 14 weeks by measurment. Not surprising, since we weren't trying, and deliberately stopped doing it before I thought I was supposed to ovulate. Someone clearly had other ideas.

Baby still alive and kicking. Gorgon still tired and retching. The Kraken has been informed, which may have been a mistake, as she is pummeling us with the pregnancy equivalent of "are we there yet".

Life is good.

Update

9 weeks pregnant today. Had an ultrasound on Wednesday, and the doctor's feedback was "That is one good looking baby". Still going strong! This is farther than I've been able to get with a pregnancy since the Kraken made her entrance almost 5 years ago, so I am very, very hopeful. Doc says based on progress thus far he would estimate my risk of miscarriage at 1-3%. Not nothing, but it beats the hell out of the 40% risk that women with my history usually carry.

Will keep you posted!

The slacker resurfaces

Been forever since I posted. Work is busy (which is a good thing in this kind of economy) and it seems like every night and weekend there is something going on. I am starting to feel a tad overextended, and fear for what it will be like when the Kraken is old enough to have things like soccer games and play practice.

In other news, with any luck around May 17th we'll be delivering the Kraken's younger sibling! That may seem like optimism in the extreme after the events of the past two years, and maybe it is, but I can't bring myself to spend 9 months freaking out about it. I was able to start taking my heparin shots the minute we found out we were pregnant, and as of last Friday an ultrasound shows a real live baby, with a heartbeat and everything. Haven't left the ultrasound clinic without a caveat of some kind (heartbeat too slow, baby too small, twins sharing a placenta, no baby developed) since the Kraken joined the Gorgon household, so I am encouraged. Plus, I feel like someone ran over me with a car, which has just GOT to be a good sign.

Wish me luck. I can't promise to post much until I get out of the first trimester and feel like a human again, but hopefully I'll be back in a few weeks with a good update.

Another detour on the journey

First of all, apologies to anyone reading this that I did not tell that we found out last week that we were pregnant again. Our plan was not to tell anyone until we were at least 12 weeks along, and as it turns out, that was a sensible plan. Pregnancy loss number 4. This one so early that I never even made it to the doctor. One week I tested positive, started my cocktail of daily shots and supplements to prevent miscarriage, and the next week I knew in my bones that it was over before it had begun. Today's bloodwork confirms that my HCG levels have dropped to less than 5. Nothing left but the inevitable bleeding, which ought to make the weekend interesting.

The good news is, I had less than a week to get my hopes up, and I never really believed it, even after 6 positive tests. The bad news is self evident. We are starting to talk about options. The Minotaur suggested this evening that we take a month off from the relentless pursuit of a second child, and then spend the next few months getting busy when we feel like it, and see what happens. In the meantime, I am in full Internet research mode for adoption options. If anyone has had a positive adoption experience or knows someone who has, please, share the agency name. As much as I hoped to experience the pleasures of pregnancy (and no, I'm not kidding, I actually LIKE being pregnant), I suspect it is not to be, and therefore am looking at my options. I myself come from a household with an older biological child (me) and a younger adopted one (my brother), and am forever grateful to the woman who made the decision that made it possible for me to have a brother.

In the meantime, I am tired, confused, and more than a little bit afraid. But mostly I am so very, very tired.

Just overheard.......

The Kraken tell her father "Daddy, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I love you".

I was laughing too hard to hear what the bad news was.