Okay, now I get it about the cramping. I never had that with the other two losses, but I sure as hell do now. In a way, I am almost grateful. At least if it is going to be definitive, I don't have to wait until Thursday to get told that it is definitive. I can go ahead and grieve, and figure out what to do next. I only wish tomorrow was not the Kraken's 4th birthday party - that has the potential to get complicated.

I told a friend earlier this evening that I wonder now how many tragedies my own parents hid from my eyes when I was a child. The Kraken is blissfully oblivious as she races around the house with her cousin, no idea that the sister or brother she wanted is quietly ebbing away.